As I Reach the Break of Day
by R. Tom Mato
Summary: 2nd in seriesCompanion to 'No Tomorrow.' Kazuma's grandfather, the cat's, view on all that's happening.


Title: As I Reach the Break of Day

Author: R. Tom Mato

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Rating: Still good ol' PG. Maybe a tiny bit more violence, but most is the same as in the other.

Summary: Companion to 'No Tomorrow' as requested, this time from the cat.

Notes: As I don't know much about Kazuma's grandfather, I'm trying to keep it as vague as possible without being totally crappy. They say he was allowed to marry and have children, but I don't really believe that. Sure, I doubt the other 'gods' before Akito were as...well....obsessed and a little psychotic, but this is the cat we're talking about. So this is how it goes in my head.

Note2: Oh. This title comes from the Green Day song 'Hold On.'

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I knew one day it would come to this. Never a day went by that I wasn't reminded that I was living on borrowed time. Such time was 'graciously' given to me by our leader. A weak, pathetic thing only two years my senior but he acted as though he owned the world.

But he did own us, so maybe it was enough.

Why did he own us? How come no one has ever stood up for themselves in this curse? We accepted it so mildly simply because we were taught from birth that this was the way things were. Our lives were a curse and we existed only to amuse a dying boy. Well, I never asked him to die for us! All any of us ever wanted was a normal life, and what was the point of him dying for us if he made our lives completely miserable?!

I thought I could break his hold on me if I tried hard enough. For almost seven years, since I was thirteen I had taken every opportunity in my hands to disobey him. Scars now covered my back from the numerous punishments I received for this, but I wore them with pride.

"Naughty...naughty..." that dry, hated voice cut into my reverie. "Pussy-cat."

Despite my best efforts, my heart sped up. I hated the fact that he still scared me, even now as I was grown. I kept my eyes closed and my mouth shut, refusing to acknowledge him in any way. Instead, I tried to turn my thoughts to her. The one that made all this worth every ounce of pain I would receive.

"How cute, you're ignoring me."

Long, black hair that flowed down her shoulders like a waterfall, always tied back except when I managed to undo her hair tie when she looked away. It was always so smooth...I cried often into that hair as I laid my head on her shoulder and she always held me close. It helped that she really loved cats.

"What did you hope to accomplish, cat?" he asked, and I heard his feet shuffling lightly to stop in front of me.

Her eyes never glanced at me with disgust, or fright. Only understanding. Granted, I never showed her my true form; I was too scared for that. I had hoped it would never have to come up.

A throaty chuckle reached my ears and suddenly I was on my back, a pain in my chest. Before I could stop myself, my eyes flew open.

"That's better," he murmured, putting the foot he had kicked me with back on the ground and then leaned over to meet my eyes. "Now answer me. What in the world did you think you could do with that harlot?"

A hiss escaped me and I jerked into a sitting position, fists lashing out. Two servants came and restrained me before I could even land one blow. "She is not a harlot!" I snarled, lips drawn back rather animalistically. "She's my wife!"

"We'll just see how long that lasts."

My eyes narrowed in confusion, the woman I loved was strong and almost as stubborn as I was. When she saw the scars on my back she had had an instant dislike of our clan leader rivaling my own.

He looked away then, and called out to someone beyond the door. "Bring her in."

The door slid to the side and another servant brought in my wife by the arm. She looked as bad as I felt, and was only half-dressed: her shirt not buttoned the whole way and her skirt not on straight. Her bare feet padded softly across the mats.

"You had better let my husband go right now," she spat out at the leader not two seconds after she had entered. "Or I swear I'll call the police and-"

She was cut off by a sharp backhand and I immediately tried to go after him again. "Leave her alone!" I shouted angrily.

The head fixed me with a dark glare. "You have no right to tell me what to do," he exclaimed. "I will show you your place, cat. You're nothing but an monster, no one will stand by you."

My wife, blood trickling from a split lip, huffed. "That's what you think. I love him, nothing your sick mind can think up will change that."

The room was quiet and a cold feeling swept through my body. He was still staring at me, but now his gaze had traveled down to the red and white beaded bracelet on my wrist. Oh god no...

"Tell me," he demanded of my wife in a soft, almost pleased tone. "Has he ever showed you his true form?"

A smug smirk slid onto my wife's face and my heart tightened in my chest. "Of course he has. I know everything about him. Including how he was locked up for the first five years of his life because of your family!"

"My, my, is that so?" he asked. "So you know why he was locked up, being the monster he is."

He began to walk toward me and my struggle to get loose of the two servants began again, to no avail.

"I let him out, you know," he told her, a wide smile appearing on his face that stretched his lips thin. "I thought he could be a decent person, aside from his curse. I was wrong."

"He is a decent person!" my wife argued. "A far better person than you!"

"I see. So...what I'm about to show you will come as no shock."

His cold fingers latched onto my wrist and his other hand yanked the bracelet off with a violent tug before tossing it onto the ground. I could see my wife's face frown in confusion before my blood started to heat up. The angry spirit inside of me howled in joy as it realized that it wasn't being held back and rushed to the surface.

The shirt that I had hastily thrown on during my 'retrieval' stretched until it tore as my body shifted. The entire process burned and soon that unpleasant smell filled the room. It happened in an instant, but seeing the expression change on my wife's face made it seem an eternity.

"This is what your precious husband is," the clan leader announced, then added mockingly. "I'm sorry, didn't you know?"

I met my wife's eyes for the briefest of moments, but the emotions running through them were clear. Mostly confusion, a little fear, but what hurt him the most was the pain and betrayal he could see shine behind it all.

"What..." she tried to speak but her voice faded. I looked away, ashamed of this horrible secret that I had kept from her.

"See?" my most hated leader asked, almost like an eager child. "He's nothing but a monster. We trap him in a human skin in case he gets loose, like he did with you. What do you think of him now?"

I could hear my wife's heart thudding rapidly and when she spoke her voice was softer than I'd ever heard it. "I..."

"Get her out of here!" the head yelled when she didn't say more. "Take her to a room and give her cloths for the night, and food if she can handle it after seeing this beast."

My wife was taken from the room, her gaze burning me the entire way. I couldn't move. My hands, now terrible, disfigured things, dug their claws into the mats as I struggled not to lash out. Violence in this form would only confirm the head's description of me.

The head stood still for a moment, then I heard the shuffling of his feet as he came to me again. The bracelet was in his hand and he grabbed my arm roughly. Such a weak person would never have been able to move me if I hadn't wanted to, but I needed that bracelet. The beads were cold as they slid onto my wrist and the coldness spread as I melted back into my human form.

"This is what you get for running away, cat," the head told me calmly in such a tone as you would use on a child. "You should thank me. She's rather sweet, such a woman should not be with a monster like you."

I stayed silent, eyes on the ground as I forced tears back. I did not lose any love for my wife for her reaction, I knew that if I had been given a chance to explain things to her, it would've been all right. It was my fault for not telling her sooner.

"Going quiet again?" he sighed, then raised his voice as he gave orders to the servants waiting outside. "Gather my zodiac. Show them to our banquet room once they arrive. Take the cat there at once and air this place out."

The people scrambled to comply and I was pulled to my feet and half dragged from the room. I could feel their confusion and took part in it as well. I had never been allowed in the main house, much less the banquet room itself. A pity it couldn't have happened under better circumstances.

I was dumped rather carelessly in the center of the room and the servants hurried to set out giant pillows throughout the room. Just a few minutes later the door slid open and I glanced up wearily. The head entered calmly, but I could see the shake in his legs. Yes, our great leader would not be with us for much longer.

The horse was behind him and calmly took his seat. He would not look at me but I still felt his glare. Dog and boar were next, but while the boar sat immediately, the dog went to the head and began to inquire over his health. She was far too doting, too obediant....like a dog, strangely enough.

Monkey, and rooster came in soon-lovers by now, I'm sure, and took separate cushions just a little too far from the other to be casual. Snake came in leading the young rabbit and dragon, still in their bedclothes and yawning widely. The children stared at me openly, this was the closest they'd ever come to me, though they had often seen me outside the main house.

Tiger came in and a few minutes later ox joined as well. I counted them silently in my head, but there was no need. I knew who was missing. The ram and the rat. How old was the new rat? He couldn't be too old. I was...just thirteen when the last rat...

Six. Only six? I had never even met him, though I saw him playing once with the dragon, the closest in years to him. Footsteps could be heard down the hallway with how silent everyone was. Only one set though, and heavy at that. Perhaps the ram had kept the rat away? No, she had no idea what they were called here for so there was no reason to keep him in bed.

I turned my gaze to the floor. While I had never had the will to hate another rat my pride wouldn't stand for a rival to see me in this state.

"Good, good," the head spoke as they arrived. "You're all here. Take a seat and we'll get to the matter at hand."

Wonderful, I was a 'matter' now. He'd never cared for me recently, since I stopped obeying him.

"Thank you all for answering my summons so promptly," he continued. "I wish I didn't have to wake you from your peaceful slumber, but this is a very important matter."

Where was my wife? Had he really given her a room to stay in? She wasn't on good terms with her family for marrying a younger man with no job at all, but-

A hard kicked in my side sent me crashing to the mats and a tiny gasp reached my ears. I grit my teeth as the head spoke again.

"My sweet, little rat. You don't know who this is, do you?"

Of course he doesn't, I thought. You've only kept him completely to yourself after you killed the last one and shoved me away.

"You've heard the stories, I'm sure. Well, now it is time that you've met your true enemy. Meet the cat."

My head was yanked up and I met the gaze of the young rat. So small, but healthy at least. My eyes narrowed angrily, how could no one try to save him from this? The younger zodiac couldn't help it as they didn't know, but that damn horse was plenty old.

The little rat flinched back a bit and I realized he probably thought I was glaring at him. Well, it was best that he hate me. It would cause less tension with the head and he was too young for his punishments.

"Don't worry, my precious rat," the head laughed. "The cat will never be able to harm you. It's the curse of the cat to always lose to you."

I couldn't help a snarl. Of course he would know, he had put us both through so much when we were young, just to satisfy his curiosity about our part of the curse.

"Now, let me tell you why I've had to dirty us all with the presence of this monster! A few days ago, the cat disappeared without informing anyone. Its keepers noticed it gone yesterday and told me immediately. Of course, for our safety, I sent out groups to find and reclaim it."

Reclaim it. Four servants of his burst into the hotel room once they found us, waking us from a peaceful slumber and bruising me in a number of places. Lamps breaking, my wife screaming obscenities that at times even made me flinch, and people in neighboring rooms peeking out into the hallway as I was dragged kicking and screaming away.

"However, three days seems to be enough for it to go against all the rules of those who are the cat. It had been having a relationship in secret with a girl from out there! It married her two days ago, thinking it could escape us. It even had the nerve to lay with her and now it probably carries its child!"

My heart stopped at his last words. A child. I could be a father? There would be no life for me after this, my child would never know me. What would his mother tell him when he asked? Would I still be her sweetheart or a lying monster?

My eyes stung but I held them back. I couldn't cry in front of them. I hadn't then and I certainly wouldn't now.

"I had been merciful to let it leave its cage when I was younger," he went on. "I had shown pity, and this is how it repays me!"

I barely had a moment to realize what was happening before I was on the mats again. My vision blurred and I was aware of a very sharp ache in my head, but I didn't care. I would never see my wife again, I would never know my child's name.

"No more mercy," the head continued angrily. "No more pity. It will be locked away again and this time it will never be allowed out. The woman will be kept at the main house until we can determine whether she's pregnant or not. If she is, we will take care of her and her child. Innocents will not be harmed because of the monster's foolishness."

They would care for them? They who could not even protect two small boys from a cruel master's games until one finally decided to escape the only way he thought would work?!

But then..where else would she go? Her family certainly wouldn't take her and the child. They wouldn't accept any excuse she made for why I had disappeared only two days after our marriage. It would be for the best.

"Ah, don't cry, little rat," the head practically cooed to the small boy and I looked up just enough to see the child's face. That purple hair and those purple eyes were so familiar and just as sad now as I had known them to be then. "The cat was very bad and now it must be punished, don't you agree? Why do you feel pity for such a monster?"

The rat looked at me again and I managed to keep my gaze even. Yes, you shouldn't pity me, I thought. Hate me for all your life, or just never think of me again.

"He...he looks so sad." the rat replied, voice so quiet I had to strain to here him.

Yet again I was grabbed by my hair, only this time instead of being thrown I was dragged. My hands and feet clawed desperately at the mats, trying to gain some balance to ease the pain in my scalp.

"Look at him!" the head bellowed, shoving my face within inches of the rat's. "You do not deserve such sympathy!"

The floor rushed up to meet me as I was thrown again, but this time I didn't even try to straighten my body or untangle my limbs. The head's pants filled the room and part of me hoped he dropped right there. It wouldn't accomplish anything though. Another just like him would be born to make us suffer. He was our curse. Our spirits we could live with, even mine, but he was the cause of our suffering.

"Please, everyone take this lesson to your hearts," the now gentle voice reached my ears. "And from this day on, the cat will not be spoken of. There will be no mention of it even in passing while it lives. You may go back to your homes now."

Everyone left except for the dog, who kept fussing over the head. When he thought about it, it seemed that she really did love him.

"Will you stop it!" the head yelled, causing her to yank her hand back. "I do not need your pity, now get away from me!"

The dog flinched, and her expression seemed very sad. It was too bad she didn't seem to realize that he didn't prefer the company of women. It might save her the pain of being rejected so often.

"You two," the head ordered a couple of servants that had been standing outside. "Take the cat to its room and lock it up tight."

They grabbed my arms and tried to lift me. I let my legs fall limp; if they wanted me in that room they could drag me the whole way. They did, as I figured they would, and I let my eyes lift up to meet the head's before I was out of the room. He knew he had won. I was beaten and broken, everything for me was gone.

My heels scraped against the mats as I was taken down the hallway. They scraped against cold earth when we left the building and then the main house. There was a small building on the end, almost tucked away from view. That would be my cage.

One of the servants took out a keyring with numerous keys on it and began the long process of unlocking the door. Normally it was only ever opened once in a cat's life: when they were put in. Very rarely did they come out alive. This was my third time hearing the scraping of those keys, freedom and damnation.

Once the door was thrown open I was very roughly thrown in. I lay limply on the leaf covered floor. It seemed no one had cleaned since I had been here last, not that they ever did before. The wood was damp from rain and the smell of rot invaded my nostrils.

This is where I would rot. I would be allowed to bathe once a month, for their noses's sakes, and given one set of clothing. It didn't matter to me though. I would become unbearably thin, and weak, and sick. Sometimes older children trying to be brave would run up and touch the bars of my window like they had done when I was younger before running back laughing loudly.

So now I am nothing. I will stay in my small room with the single window striped with bars and watch the children play outside. Perhaps my own child will even be out there among them, laughing in the sunshine. My wife will be nearby, watching him carefully.

Maybe they will look toward my window and my child will question his mother. What will she say of me then?

End 


End file.
